deadly sex machines on steroids and pot
by
Ballie
|
Beginning:
Deadly sex machines on steroids and pot
Rampaging across the parking lot
They say happiness is what they got
But it just sounds like BOOP BOOP BOP
Lying in haze induced dreams
Knowing reality is better than it seems
Following the hive mind
Induced by sin of the corporate kind
Dead in many, many ways
Rampaging across the parking lot
They say happiness is what they got
But it just sounds like BOOP BOOP BOP
Lying in haze induced dreams
Knowing reality is better than it seems
Following the hive mind
Induced by sin of the corporate kind
Dead in many, many ways
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- Lynn J.R. writes: "I loved it! - very catchy, creative, as Phil i found the humor and truth as well - maybe even a dark satire - whatever it is or was meant to be I enjoyed reading it very much."
- The author writes: "i meant to change it from humor cuz originally it was gonna be a comedic poem but as i went on with it i took a turn for the more serious"
- ezwriter writes: "I liked it. there was an honest effort to create a rhyme scheme and for the most part it worked. I just wonder if the poets orginal plan to make a whole quatrain rhyme just ran out of steam. Otherwise good effort. I suppose it might be considered humor but I find a depth of truth to the observations. Phil Pluta"
- Everon writes: "the first four lines u rhymed aaaa (quatrain-like)then thereafter went on to couplets. i thought the whimsical tone of the piece would be better served if that was maintained. that said, i did enjoy the read."
- The author writes: "lol thanks"
- Nicky Luff writes: "Haha, I'm so glad not all poems posted on here are serious! This one made me laugh a lot =] xxxx"
- Special K writes: "grate :0 x"
- The author writes: "i thought so"
- Sinister Dexter writes: "niice."
- The author writes: "lol thanks"